Radio 03.13.09
            This is Ron Salfen, “At The Movies,” and here’s my commentary on a new film opening today at The Majestic Theater in Greenville :
            “Miss March” is the latest version of raunch humor, featuring the young and the feckless.  Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore play a couple of high schoolers who are childhood chums, but they couldn’t be more different.  Zach plays Eugene, the serious, strait-laced one, and Trevor plays Tucker, the goofy, self-centered, archetypal teenage boy with the hormones racing, and also lacking the social graces to not say everything that runs through his juvenile brain.  Eugene and his girlfriend, Cindi (Raquel Alessi), are so straight-arrow that they put on seminars for younger children about promising to save themselves for when they’re married, implying that vile things will happen to anybody who doesn’t pledge celibacy.  Well, life happens.  Just as Cindi is starting to put pressure on Eugene to consummate their long-term relationship despite their public stance, Eugene falls down the stairs and lapses into a coma.  He awakens four years later, because his embarrassing but loyal friend Tucker hit him on the head with a baseball bat, just to see if that would revive him.  Tucker the Tigger hasn’t changed at all.  But Eugene ’s family has literally moved on, and his girlfriend also left---to become a Playboy model!  Tucker breaks Euge ne out of rehab in order to confront his old girlfriend at the Playboy mansion, and their road trip, predictably, is a series of misadventures, all somehow reverting to crude sexual humor.  This is the male adolescent id unleashed, and it’s not a pretty sight.  Neither is its personification, the now eighty-something Hugh Hefner, playing the omniscient relationship counselor? Admittedly, some of the skits are over-the-top kind of funny, but it’s the sort of humor where you’re glad it’s a dark theater and no one knows you, because you’d be embarrassed to be seen by anyone with any gravitas or dignity.  And after watching this silly movie, you’ll have measurably less of both.
            As for “The Last House On The Left,” it’s rare that I comment upon a film that I have not seen.  But I understand that it is a re-make of a Wes Craven movie about a gang of thugs kidnapping young women, raping them, and making them sexually assault each other while they watch for their own craven amusement.  It’s one thing to decide to see lurid sex humor like “Miss March.”  But watching the kind of sadistic violence described here is tantamount to true prurient perversion.  Wouldn’t we all be better off boycotting such horrific garbage, and hope that next time they won’t bother to produce it, just because it won’t have an audience?
This is Ron Salfen, “At the Movies,” for 93-5 KICK-FM.